Fear. It’s been coming up a lot for me this month. I know it’s time to step into my own truth and I didn’t quite realise I was playing it safe to the extent that I have been. Every time I read a passage or chapter in a book which speaks about fear, the control it can have over us and the false beliefs it thrives on, I am always nodding my head in deep agreement. I know this is true and yet each day I’ve been careless in giving my power over to fear.
Many of us want to make the change towards living from our heart & soul and replacing those fearful or negative thoughts and criticisms with light and love. The concept, as obvious as it may seem, is often far more difficult in reality when we are faced with the very situations that have contributed to those fearful thoughts. Like me, you may keep finding yourself replaying stories, and we all continue to do so until we face them, acknowledge what our real truth is, and finally decide you are ready to let go and move on.
This year so far has been a mix of being in a space of clarity followed by confusion and stagnation. I have been scared to let go of some things that have been a big part of me for years. Because of that, the new opportunities and experiences I am desiring have not had a balanced space to emerge, or love and attention to grow. This has been a source of frustration. Just over the last week it’s reached breaking point, where I see that if I don’t plan and act on moving through the fear and making decisions that I know are necessary, the road ahead will be tougher than it needs to be. In fear I am doing my spirit a disservice. In fear I am not giving my best to others. In fear the passion and flow I crave in my creative pursuits will be stifled.
So, I’ve started making the changes which allow me to step into my truth. The biggest realisation I have had is how much I’ve placed this pressure and responsibility on myself. The fear of how others will react is not real in the way my ego had imagined. I’ve also sensed a huge need for trust and surrender. As I begin to let go and create space for my heart to speak, not knowing exactly what it will say or want, the path forward is unknown but sure to be exactly what it needs to be. And honestly, giving up control of part of my future, particularly when it comes to money, is scary as hell. But I have faith as I’ve witnessed others do the same and I’ve seen them light up from deep within as was the universe’s intention when they entered this world.
So, as I navigate my way through pursuing a life that is not build upon fearful concepts and limiting beliefs, I do so with a renewed energy and confidence that what will become is more beautiful than I could ever imagine.
Just as I finished writing this post, I opened up Susannah Conway’s love letter from the weekend, seeing the card of the month and it’s meaning felt very synchronistic for me:
This month’s card is BIG BOLD VISION: “You were not born to play a small role in life… There is something — a vision or an idea – that is coming for you. You may worry that it is too much, but don’t worry. It is meant to be yours… You are being asked to remember that when something is right for you, endless synchronicities and support will flow your way, at the right time and in the right way. Stay open, receptive, playful and surrendered. Even if everything seems to be in a bit of a shambles now, it’s really just the essential mess before a truly spectacular success.” – from the Sacred Rebels Oracle by Alana Fairchild.
This artwork is available as a print on Society6.